Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
