its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
