i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
