I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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