i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
