Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
