Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
