I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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