No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You made out with two different species that night
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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