It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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