Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
