He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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