It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
