If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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