are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize