am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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