That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
