Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
