If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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