my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
