Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
