I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
