She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
