Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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