I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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