i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
