absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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