Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
