yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
