we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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