Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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