Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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