There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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