No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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