Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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