I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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