11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
