I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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