Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
