I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
