so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I touched a dick in church today
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
