No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
