He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
