dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
