Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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