real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I showed him my bush... on skype.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
