Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were destined to go to rehab together
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
