morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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