I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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