I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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