you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
