Even the bartender felt bad for me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
