please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I AM VODKA MAN
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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