wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
