i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
