i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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