How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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