the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
