Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize